Thinking divorce before marriage is unconventional. However, is it unconventional wisdom? Yes.

Since marriage is a legal contract and unfortunately at least half of these contracts turn into a divorce contract, men really need to think about what they are getting into by agreeing to marry. What are the ramifications? What can be prevented? How do you know she is right for you? How do you make wiser choices? How do you learn from those who made mistakes you may face and survived to help you?

This site, www.thinkdivorceb4marriage.com , is dedicated to the unconventional wisdom. This informative forum is designed to give advice to the young man thinking of getting married from men who have had the gut wrenching experience of getting divorced. This site is not about bashing women nor marriage. It is about getting real world information to help the young man make a more informed decision. For those of us who have divorced, I’m sure we would have wanted a site like this to get information. Men need an objective place to turn to for pre-marriage advice. Call this site your pre-marriage online men’s support group.

The soon-to-be-husband’s pre-marriage check list usually includes the often daunting task of finding an engagement ring, renting a tux, informing his best friend to be the best man, looking forward to his bachelor party, tasting wedding cake, nodding his head up and down for the wedding location, being okay with whatever flowers and agreeing to a honeymoon location. Let’s face it, weddings are not for the man but for the woman. Case in point, how many magazine names have the word “groom” in it vs “bride?”

One task usually not on the list, especially for the young 20-something guy…think about what a divorce would mean to him once he signs the marriage contract. He may be poor now, but what happens ten years down the road and he has contributed to financial growth. Most young men don’t think about what could happen. Most don’t seek out advice on the “what if?”. Unfortunately, half of the marriages end in divorce. If a man put think divorce before marriage on his checklist, he may be more informed to make the right choice. Let’s face it, most men end up getting married because she puts pressure on him to either “shit or get off the pot”. With pressure on him, he may think, “well we have lasted this long dating…will I ever meet another woman who will give me sex on a regular basis. After all, men equate sex with love. Many men give into the pressure and pop the question without really thinking about the future legal ramifications.

There is a difference between true love and marriage.

Falling in love with her is romantic and exciting. The first kiss, the first time you make love. Love is a wonderful sensation. True love is having “it”. “It” is a connection like no other…a spiritual connection.

Marriage, however, is a legal contract with long lasting effects and repercussions. Many men don’t think about the contract aspect of marriage during the pre-engagement or engagement stage. If a man signs a loan for a car, or engages in a business with a contract he will probable read it. He may even hire an attorney before he commits himself to a contract. How many of you who are married have even read the marriage contract? Unfortunately, if you are getting divorced or have been divorced, you know all too well the mental and physical toll of contracts going back and forth.

Once he pops the question and she says yes, there are a whirl wind of events and often overwhelm him. Probably many things go through his mind and he questions what he has done. Self doubt. How am I going to pay for this? This is a big step. I’m not so sure…what have I done. But most, go forward with the marriage, not listening to the warnings.

This site will explore the warnings with real world advice from divorced men. You may also get the words from a woman to help you understand from a woman’s perspective why women want to get married and other female point of view advice.

With the unconventional wisdom, the goal is to actually help improve relationships and marriage by exposing the young man to some of the potential issues and experiences that others have gone through. The man thinking about marriage will have a forum to read and ask questions so that he can make a more informed decision, hopefully reducing his odds of getting a divorce, if he chooses to go forward with the marriage.