from a woman’s point of view   

Why do women want to marry?  

 Why do women want to get married?  The answers can be as varied as there are types of women. 

 As a woman with many female friends, I know why women want to marry.  They marry for love, companionship, to have children, peer pressure, low self-esteem, to get out of their parent’s house, and for financial reasons.  Some women want to be the center of attention as they walk down the aisle.  Some of the reasons stated above are not “harmful” to men, such as marrying for love and companionship.  The other reasons listed can be “harmful” to men. 

You should know, when a woman meets a man she finds desirable, she will do many things to get him to marry her.  We can manipulate him by withholding sex and/or affection.   Sometimes, women try to make men jealous by pretending to be interested in someone else.  Many men want what other men have so this is a good ploy to use and can work to the woman’s advantage.  Ultimatums can be issued all in the hopes of getting the man to the altar.

As women get older and their biological clocks keep ticking, women can feel the pressure to have a baby and snag the first Tom, Dick or Harry. Things might be good in the beginning but can quickly sour when it is time for the 2:00 AM feeding.  Then there are diapers to change, temper tantrums, potty training, etc…  All this leaves older women exhausted, especially if she works outside the home too.  There is no time for sex because she is busy taking care of the kid(s). 

Peer pressure, low self-esteem, and wanting to get out of their parent’s house are just as damaging.  Again, not enough time is taken to get to know a prospective mate.  Once again, it is a selfish reason – and good for the woman. 

Marrying for financial reasons is not necessarily a bad thing.  We see evidence of this often and it is usually an older wealthy man with a gorgeous younger woman.  In this case, people are exchanging something for something – her beauty and youth and his money. 

In modern society, marriage is the accepted social union of two people.  The institution has been around for centuries and in Europe tying the knot was used for political advantages.  Love between people was never considered and marriages were arranged sometimes as early as children.  

Marriage is important, however.  We humans need to propagate the species and marriage legitimizes offspring.  Women who want to have children are looking for the best mate.  We seem to have an instinctive mechanism for finding possible good matches from a physical standpoint. 

How does a man find the right woman to marry?  How does he know that the woman he is interested in will not be selfish, manipulative, scheming, or any other negative trait?  First, he needs to know himself and what he wants in a mate.  If this involves making a check off list then so be it.  Men tend to look first then ask questions later.  They think if they get the prettiest girl then all his friends will be jealous.  You might be lucky that way as there are some very attractive women who are kind.  However, are looks the most important thing to men?  It sometimes seems that way.  I knew a man who was ashamed to admit that he was attracted to large women.  He would have sex with very large (300 lbs. plus) women but never take them out in public.  

He used to frequent a certain restaurant with friends and was always served by the same slender waitress.  His friends thought she was hot because she was slim, blonde, and blue eyed and egged him on to ask her out.  He caved in to the social pressure of his friends.  He asked her out and they eventually married and ended up divorced.  She got pregnant right away as he was well off and she knew by doing so she would always be attached to him because they had a child together.  If he had been honest with himself, this would never have happened.

Many American women are pushy, manipulative and scheming.  These gals wind up in relationships and all they think is, “What have you done for me lately”?  They complain about their man and seem never to be satisfied.  They withhold sex as punishment and do not appreciate what they have.  It is no wonder that the divorce rate is so high. 

All men want to be appreciated and looked upon as their woman’s hero.  Sadly, this is not how many women treat their men.  Does this mean that men should look for foreign-born women?  In some cases that might be the answer.  This situation, too, can have difficulties.  There is culture shock that can be extreme.  I knew of a Middle Eastern man who married an American woman.  This situation, too, ended in divorce, since expectations of each party were so different.   I know an American man who married a Russian woman.   While this marriage has stayed intact, the man is very unhappy and seeks comfort and love outside the relationship from an American woman. That relationship has been going on for years and continues to this day.  The only reason he has stayed in the marriage is because he is wealthy living in a community property state and it would cost him a great deal of money to split.

The best way to find a good mate is to take time.  This seems obvious, but not always practiced.   Get to know the woman.  This should take months, if not years.  See how she interacts with her friends and family and your family and friends.  If you consider making her your wife and you trust your family’s opinion, ask what they think of her.  If someone tells you something really listen to him or her. 

If you do decide to marry and you had engaged in pre-marital sex and after she gets the ring sex stops, then you made a bad choice.  It is best to get out of the relationship before children.  Get the marriage annulled.  It is better than thinking things will improve down the road.  If it is bad now it will not get better. It may even get worse. 

 If you are interested in asking a specific question about your relationship, please complete the section below and I’ll give you an answer from a woman’s point of view.